I share some special experiences on my blog, not all, but there are some that I want my children to remember, and also some I don't want to forget. It's the only journal I have, and I want my family and myself to remember good and hard times. I've realized so much more the last couple of years that the feelings I feel and the things that happen to me, are to make me more aware of my Heavenly Father's presence in my life. I've learned the past 4 years that his will is ALWAYS better than mine, even if I think differently at the time. I'm thankful for this, because I've learned to trust so much more, and I can tell you that I feel so much more peace and happiness. I know I'll always be led in the right direction, even if I have to struggle through something.
The other night it was just Korver and I driving home. The other kids wanted to ride home with Cody, so we were having a peaceful quiet ride home together. He was watching the Smith family video from this past year on the dvd player. There is a song on there when my niece Sofia was born by Hilary Weeks called Living Proof. It is a beautiful song, and fits perfectly with her life. As I was driving I felt the impression as clear as anything, "your heart episode was a miracle." I was not thinking of that event or even reliving that time 4 years ago in my mind, but it was so strong I had the chills. It was an experience I will never forget, and I'm thankful for this reminder of God's tender mercies in our lives to help me remember him. I haven't actually thought of this experience for awhile, so it was very interesting this happened. If you don't know I was diagnosed with a heart condition in March four years ago. I was told I would not be able to have any more children, and told to find a great cardiologist when we moved to Arizona, because I would be seeing him on a regular basis. I was devastated to say the least, because I knew I wanted more kids, I'd always been really healthy, worked out, and tried to eat well. We fasted and prayed as an extended family that when I met with my cardiologist in Arizona things would be normal. I met with the cardiologist in October after moving to Arizona, and after having another echocardiogram done she gave me the perfect bill of health. She told me to have as many children as I wanted, and that as of right now things looked perfect.
After this experience last week in the car, I prayed and thank Heavenly Father for this miracle. I now know how different my life would be without this miracle, and that difference would be not having my sweet and adorable Korver. I don't think it was a coincidence it was just the two of us in the car that night. We are hardly ever alone in the car together. I think this experience was to help me appreciate his life more, and how different things would be without him. I've always been so thankful for him, because he has never caused us a minutes trouble, but I'm even more thankful for miracles in my life, and in the life of my family. No matter how big or small they are, they happen and I believe.
2 comments:
I love the brother quotes. I can't imagine life without little Korver either! He is the most loveable little guy around. He is like a big cuddly teddy bear! It is funny to look back on your life and realize that we are not in charge and that Heavenly Father definitely has a plan for us. That was a scary time with your heart and I am so glad that a someone like you who cherishes being a Mom didn't have to stop at two. Music sure has a way of touching our heart and sending messages to us.
Korver you are a great miracle and such an easy going kid! It was so much fun to have you around this weekend just sitting back relaxing everywhere we went!
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